3 Simple Ideas to Ease the Transition

If your child has anxiety about the beginning of the school year, they - and you - are not alone!

In my experiences as a teacher, a Principal, a mum and a therapist, I have seen a lot. Below I detail my top three things you can do to help your kids during this tricky time. Of course, these will need to be adapted to be appropriate for your child’s age and developmental stage; however, the principles behind them are applicable at any age.

1. Managing Your Own Anxiety

   I cannot stress this point enough! When kids are anxious, they need you to hold them steady. If you are able to see their feelings of worry, then acknolwedge and contain these, you are sending them the subconscious message that they are safe and everything will be alright. Sounds easy, right?!

   OK, so it isn’t easy, but it helps to try and think of this as not something to get through, but a critical learning opportunity: Kids learn to self-regulate through co-regulation. You got this!

2. Use a Transitional Object

   A transitional object is any item used to soothe during a transitional phase. They can offer a lot of reassurance to a child facing separation anxiety or uncertain circumstances. The classic example is a soft toy or blanky used to comfort a young child who is learning to separate from their primary caregiver.

   But these objects can be used with older kids too; my mum used to write me a “note” with a reassuring message such as “I am loved and I am safe”, for me to hold onto when scared at night, or starting a new school, or going on a long journey away from her.

   Talk to your child and together you can choose or create a special object to keep in their pocket or schoolbag, which they can look at or touch when feeling uncertain. (NB: I recommend not using any object already very precious to the child, as things can get lost easily at school.)

3. Routine, Routine, Routine

   Lastly, try as much as possible to stick to your usual routine. Back-to-school anxiety is often related to the fear of things being different or unexpected - new teacher, new classmates, etc. - so keeping your usual routine is critical. The fewer “new” things introduced, the more familiar and reassuring the experience will be.

Of course, for some children with chronic anxiety and school “can’t” (a more accurate way of saying ‘school refusal’), simply using tips won’t be enough. These cases are more complex and require ongoing interventions, such as therapy for the child and the parent/s or carer/s, and working with the school’s Learning Support Team to investigate the possible causes.

If your child experiences school “can’t”, feel free to contact me for a discussion to see if I can help. If not, I will refer you to the most appropriate professional.